Non-verbal And Other Types Of Communication in Conversations

Here’s an interesting article on how to start a conversation. There are some useful tricks and hints you can try out.

Conversation Starters – How to Open Anyone Anywhere

by Matthew Miller

She was leaning up against the wall with a slight frown on her face. She was by herself so there were no obstacles to engage and befriend so a group opener wasn’t necessary. I walked up to her and stopped about two feet from her with my body pointed slightly away, looked over my shoulder and with a slight smile on my face said “Wow, don’t have too much fun there.”

That was all it took to put a smile on her face and start a conversation with this above average looking brunette. There was nothing sophisticated said, no special line, just a general observation.

So let’s see, we successfully open this woman with nothing more than a simple observation, take a second to think about it. Was it really what I said? Perhaps it was how I said it?

You have probably heard that 90% of communication is non verbal, and approximately only 10% is verbal. So it must have been my body language and tonality.

I walked up in a non-confrontational way, not directly approaching her. I spoke slowly with a deep voice not rushing what I said. I smiled and had strong eye contact. I am a man with value, and that is how she perceived me.

If you don’t act like this don’t worry, these key traits are can be developed with a bit of practice.

There are three common types of openers:

• Indirect
• Direct
• Situational

An indirect opener can be anything that isn’t blatantly displaying interest. For example, do you have the time? That is an example of an indirect opener. However, you generally want to ask questions that people can expand on and not give you a quick yes or no answer.

An opener I sometimes use is:

“Hey, (pause) quick question. Should I keep growing my hair or should I cut it?

Alright well, most guys say chop it off, but most girls think I should keep growing it. I personally think guys have bad taste, I don’t know about you.”

Then I will transition into something else. I will not hang onto that opener forever, once they start talking I will cut the conversation where it’s at because *I noticed something really neat about one of them*.

A direct opener would be something like:

“Hi, I have to get going in a second but you have a fantastic energy about you, I just had to come tell you. Here, jot down your number and if I find some time later I’ll try and shoot you a message.”

Notice what I did here, I have to get going; you’re conveying you are a busy man and have things to do. Secondly, you are also complimenting her on something other than her looks. Lastly you mention that if you have time you will try to send her a message. A message is less threatening than a phone call in a woman’s eyes, and if you do not want to go for a number close try an email close which most people will give without hesitation.

Remember, when it comes to direct approaching it comes down to smiling, tonality, body language and confidence. If you can display a certain amount of confidence while you approach your success rate will rapidly multiply.

Lastly are situational openers, probably my favorite and most used out of the three. Situational openers are picking something out that is going on around you and making a comment about it.

Example, “did you see the guy outside with the pink suit and the 2 foot high Mohawk? He tried to cut the line, the bouncer used his hair as a handle and launched him onto the curb. Guess he wasn’t feelin the pink suit.”

Some people worry that their canned opener will get noticed, and maybe it will; however, if you use a situational opener and discuss what’s going on at the venue then you will have no problem with that.

In a nutshell you want to:

• Be aware of your non verbal communication
• Have a few canned openers just in case nothing interesting is going on at the time
• Relax and realize that opening is one of the easiest parts of pick up
• Go out and open as many groups of people you can , be social

All it takes is practice, so the more you’re out in the field the more successful you will become.

Matthew Miller
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/conversation-starters-how-to-open-anyone-anywhere-673766.html

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