The death of a family member can alter a child’s life forever. The key is to give children the proper guidance; they need their parents, teachers, and significant others in their lives to help them learn grief in positive ways.

For the child to cope with the death of their loved one, and learn to grieve and express their emotions, they need to understand the causes of death, through their family communication structure.

A children’s age makes a difference, and also the state of their behavioral and emotional changes. Children need to be helped when they are ready to talk about their bad experiences.

According to Ms. Mc Cue (as quoted in Chira, Susan) “a child’s age makes a difference in the way a child responds to the grieving process and understands death; a 3– year old may not talk too much about his or her feelings”.

However,children will talk about their loss to people that they trust. At this age the child may ask “When is mommy coming home?” despite having their mother’s or father’s death explained several times. Ms. Mc Cue affirms that a 4- year old child may have little appreciation and understanding of the finality of death.

In other article by Perry, Bruce D. “Helping Kids face up to Loss.” insists that children of different ages have different ways of adapting the abstract concept of death. However, Brodkin’s article “My Grandpa Died” concludes that a 4 – year old does understand the meaning of death, but it is difficult for any child to tolerant sadness for a long time, so their grief is intermittent. Equally important, by age five or six these children, according to Brodkin, realize that everyone dies eventually, and by the time they are eight or nine a child knows that they too, will die. In Earl Grollman’s book “Talking about Death” (p.35) he asserts that children of the same age differ widely in their behavior and development; some are mature and stable even when tragedy strikes, others are seemingly immature. Children should not be fit into a fixed age category regarding death and dying
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According to both Grollman and Brodkin five year olds are able to understand the meaning of physical death.They understand that Death is final and all living things must die. But they may not think of it happening to them. At this age, they may neither deny death nor accept it inevitability. This is why a child’s age makes a significant difference in the way they may respond to the grieving process and understand death; the best way to respond to a child is in simple, age-appropriate answers.

A child’s state of behavior and emotional state will change. According to Brodkin changes in behavior should be expected. Children can be sad for a few days esperience some joy and laughter, and then revert to the sad mood again. Children’s moods become unpredictable, a child may tell someone that their grandfather has died in a sad manner and later skip off to play and behave as if nothing has happened
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A child’s emotional stage may be very changable, according to Perry, the primary emotion during this time is fear. Over a period of time, the child’s thoughts will be dominated by the loss with the primary emotion being sadness. Also sleeping, eating patterns, and interest in school diminishes. Furthermore, the child’s sadness moods may float in and out of sadness and this is may be enough to convince people that children do not understand the permanence of death.

Next, children need to be helped when they are ready to talk about their experiences. When children ask for explanations about their loss according to Perry, the child is ready to talk to an adult and it will help to listen and give feedback. They also seek for guidance and comfort from adults. Children ask questions and express indirectly what they feel through play.

Karen DeBord and Nick Amann claim in their journal “Benefits of Play in Children” that a child can express their emotions through various types of play activities such as art, or stories, far earlier than they can express them in words. Likewise, for older children, play may be the means through which they can express emotions that they are either unwilling to share verbally or do not have the sufficient vocabulary to express. Through play children can be anyone, at anyplace, at anytime and easily express what they feel.

Finally, Perry claims that consoling a child who lost a beloved family member is a great challenge, because they may become sad or aggressive or withdraw from play. On the other hand, Brodkin asserts that at school children share their thoughts at their own pace and through play. Perry agrees with Brodkin on this also but has some concerns. Brodkin suggests not avoiding the topic when the child brings it up. "Be available when the child wants to talk, but avoid probing. Be prepared to discuss the same details again and again. Expect the child not to hear things that first time. Patiently, repeat facts for her or him, and always try to bring positive memories, images, and recollections in the conversation."

Grollman on page 41 encourages an explanation about trees and leaves and how long they last. Step by step give examples within the child’s ability to understand.
Therefore, when consoling a grieving child, we can do our best by following their lead when they express the need to talk, and let the child know that we understand them if they want to play, and be oblivious to the loss, we should allow them the return to normal life.

In conclusion, a children’s age affects their grieving process when dealing with death. Their behavior and emotional state changes and they need to find support when they are ready to talk about death. The best way to help a child go through grieving is by listening, being honest, talking, about the person who died, and creating an environment that is safe for grieving. Further study of this issue is important so that we can help children cope with loss.

{side notes: put the whole paper into Microsoft Word and in tools select options and under the tab for spelling and grammar turn on Grammar and style under the "writing style" pull down tab. Then when you run spell check it will make lots of helpful suggestions. I usually ignore 50% of the "passive voice" suggestions but most of the others are very helpful. It also can detect when you chose the wrong spelling of a word for the context. Good luck-Oh and the title is just a suggestion, name it whatever you want.}
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There are six broad types of oral communication activities that might be incorporated into curricula in many fields of study. Most are conducive to either formal or informal assignments.

1. One-on-One Speaking (Student-Student or Student-Teacher): Can range from moments punctuating a lecture, where students are asked to discuss or explain some question or problem with the person next to them, to formal student conferences with their instructor.

2. Small-Group or Team-Based Oral Work: Smaller-scale settings for discussion, deliberation, and problem solving. Appropriate for both large lectures and smaller classes and allows levels of participation not possible in larger groups.

3. Full-Class Discussions (Teacher- or Student-Led): Typically less agonistic, argument-based, and competitive than debate and deliberation but still dialogic in character. Often times has the quality of creating an atmosphere of collective, out-loud thinking about some question, idea, problem, text, event, or artifact. Like deliberation and debate, a good way to encourage active learning.

4. In-Class Debates and Deliberations: A structured consideration of some issue from two or more points of view. Debates typically involve participants who argue one side throughout, while deliberation allows for movement by individuals within the process. Both feature reason-giving argument. Can be applied to issues of many kinds, from disputed s
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When I look at this picture of myself, I realize how much I’ve grown and changed, not only physically, but also mentally as a person in the last couple of years. Less than one month after this photograph was taken, I arrived at North Shore Community College without any idea of what to expect. Around me in this picture are the things which were most important in my life at the time: becoming somebody.
I will strive to be a tremendous asset to Northeastern University by devoting all my time and life to becoming an excellent Student. I believe that I am obligated to use my talents in a constructive manner, in a manner that benefits society. The medical career gives me the unique opportunity to express my many talents while benefiting human life.
I believe that my ability to improved and expanded my communication skills since I was constantly meeting new communicate makes me well suited to pursue a medical career. I also consider myself a "people" person. As a sales consultant, I see a lot of people and discussing different topics. Because people constantly disclosed their personal issues to me, I learned to become not only a good conversationalist, but also an excellent listener. In medical school, I also plan to pursue side work like Volunteering. One of my most rewarding experiences has been helping patients as a Personal Care Attendant.
I am Highly motivated to succeed, I dramatically improved my grades following a time of confusion and immaturity at North Shore Community College, which was brought on by family.. In the past year I have learned a lot through my experiences and relationships. I’ve realized that I was trying so much to make everyone else happy that I wasn’t keeping myself and my interests in mind at times when I should have. Once I realized what goal I wanted to pursue in life, I worked hard to succeed in life
I have been diligent in my pursuit of medicine as a career because I am convinced that medicine offers me the opportunity to live a fulfilling, rewarding life dedicated to helping others. I will enter medicine eager to learn. Attending Northeastern University would be one of the greatest rewards for my motivation and persistence for success.

Next on the list… eating dinner together and before bedtime meeting for a few moments as a family to air grievances, mention important things coming up the next day, etc., and holding family prayer.
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Mother of five, including four teen boys and a tween girl

A no-risk guarantee? Total communication is ALWAYS better? That is simply not true. You can’t make that kind of guarantee, and it is irresponsible to say that you can. I have seen transfers into an oral-only program who did far better, academically and emotionally, than they had in the total communication program available to them.

Help with risk essment, fine. Don’t imply that there is an option without risk.