Archive for October, 2009
A Ghost in the Closet Is There an Alcoholic Hiding?
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It is not called willpower when someone sits alone at home for days, drinking alone, passing out, when waking up with a terrible hangover and going through life like nothing happened? It\’s impossible for someone who allows a drink to be unattended long enough for the ice cubes to melt to understand an alcoholic\’s lack of control regarding alcohol.
\”Learning to communicate will lead to a new type of intimacy that surpasses any past relationship. Communication involves, however, the willingness to be vulnerable. Sharing one\’s feelings can be cause for rejection, a dangerous proposition to the initially recovering alcoholic.\”
\”Until we can find ourselves and how we relate to this world and the afterworld, we cannot be at peace.\”
One of the most important changes in recovery is finding the ability to enjoy life again. This includes not only the newfound talent to listen, but once again to laugh.\”
From A Ghost in the Closet.
Two Types of Communication ?
Posted by: | CommentsThere are many different Types Of Communication.
Some are digital such as the internet, i-phones, blackberries etc. Others are analog….
But I,m not discussing those here so if that’s what you’re looking for then this post isn’t for you.
The two types of communication I will be writing about are the sort that humans like you have used since before we came down out of the trees.
NOW
You’re probably thinking, auditory… you know the spoken stuff that we hear and answer back to.
Nope
Well then it must be body language. Matching and mirroring.
Wrong again
Well that only leaves kinaesthetic. Communication by touch and feel.
It isn’t any one of these ways of communicating . It is all of them.
SO what is my point here ?
There are only two types of communication. There is communication that doesn’t work and there is communication that gets you the results you really want.
Lots of folks get hung up on language patterns, listening skills, volume, correct enunciation of their words, body language etc etc etc.
All of the above are important and so is working out the results that you want from your communication skills before you start to talk. Or write. Or to perform.
Knowing your outcomes is a vital part of being a good communicator. And being able to assess how effective you have been is equally important.
The thing is that often you can get so hung up on being right that you forget the actual result you wanted in the first place. This is a sure recipe for divorce, disease and downright misery.
Often when you are taught to use assertive communication you are taught to WIN. And at what cost. This is the big flaw in the argument for assertive communication.
You MUST win.
At what cost though ? You may lose the respect and trust of people who will be your allies in the future. You may create fear about dealing with you, just in case you chew their ear off.
You may create enemies who will do you down at the first opportunity because you really upset them and maybe didn’t listen fully to their side of the story.
Communication is a two way street and unless you listen you may miss pertinent points that woud have eliminated the conflict anyway. You also miss out on the input that you get from
another persons perspective and who’s to say that your viewpoint is 100 % right 100 % of the time ?
I say all of this not to make you feel bad or guilty because you want THAT result.
I say this because there is a more powerful way . An easier way where you win and they win too.
You both get what you want and there is no angst or anger.
Two people or more working together towards a common end. Each with half the work load and twice the brain power. Twice the muscle power.
This was the conversation we had before we came down from the trees.
” Cover my back. Keep your eyes open and yell out if you see anything coming. I’m going down to check out that strange fruit down there “
Think about this and maybe you can work out how you can get over your differences and work with others.
In reality there are many types of communication. HOWEVER there is only one that works
11 The first part of the lesson Perspective 3 Part B
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It is important that pupils understand the objectives of the lesson and the behaviour needed for learning to take place. Teachers who communicate this clearly and confidently at the start of the lesson use a range of skills that establish an authoritative ‘presence’, including signals for gaining the attention of the class, clear verbal and non-verbal communication, and effective use of language to explain and question. When the start of the lesson lacks clarity and structure, teachers can lose teaching and learning time by having to repeat instructions and respond to pupils’ requests for clarification.
Duration : 0:7:20
11 The first part of the lesson Perspective 3 Part B
Posted by: | CommentsIt is important that pupils understand the objectives of the lesson and the behaviour needed for learning to take place. Teachers who communicate this clearly and confidently at the start of the lesson use a range of skills that establish an authoritative ‘presence’, including signals for gaining the attention of the class, clear verbal and non-verbal communication, and effective use of language to explain and question. When the start of the lesson lacks clarity and structure, teachers can lose teaching and learning time by having to repeat instructions and respond to pupils’ requests for clarification.
Duration : 0:7:20